Just exactly as one pleases…

“…the great merit of the place is that one can arrange one’s life here exactly as one pleases…there are facilities for every kind of habit and taste, and everything is accepted and understood.”  Henry James, in a letter to a friend (1876)

 

It has been quite a long time since I posted last! Almost two weeks, and what a busy two weeks it has been…

Aside from adventuring through Paris, eating delicious food (frog legs, check; escargot, check), museums and national monuments galore, and meeting really awesome people in my lectures, I visited La Rochelle with a good friend of mine from Pitt 2 weekends ago, and this past weekend went to Normandy (Omaha Beach, Caen, Mont St. Michel) with my study abroad program. In my next post, I’ll go into full detail about what made these trips wonderful.

In this post, I’d like to talk about overcoming the difficulties of settling into a new city on your own, as well as making international/new acquaintances and friends.

I’m living in an apartment with three other girls. An apartment of four people, especially a bedroom with four people sleeping in it, is very difficult, so constant communication and understanding is a must. Luckily my roommates and I are extremely respectful and understanding of one another, so we get along very well. Of course challenges have been faced in such a small living space, but it is expected: a small Parisian apartment isn’t fit for 4 people, at least not in the long run. It’s certainly an experience; after this, I feel like each of us will quickly adapt into any living situation we may encounter in the future.

In France, and especially in Paris, their eco friendly manner translates over into green energy and saving the planet. That means: five minute showers, turning off water in between hair washing/body washing, miniscule loads of laundry, air drying clothes and linens, airing out the apartment every day for 20 minutes, and, of course, checking to make sure the heat/lights are all off when leaving the apartment or going to sleep. It’s hard to get used to but I think I’m finally at the point where it doesn’t bother me that much anymore. Granted, I will never get used to the shower situation; one of my favorite things in the world is a long, hot shower, and that just isn’t possible when living in this apartment.

Budgeting and spending, already difficult in the states, seems to be 10x more difficult in Paris. Everything is expensive, unless you find a gem of a boulangerie/cafe that sells cheap foods, as well as specific grocery stores that have great deals on produce, proteins, carbs, etc. Getting to know how to budget and where/when to get food is part of getting to know Paris. If I wasn’t on such a strict budget (100 euros a week, for everything), I would be seeing and discovering a lot less of Paris. My friends here have fondly told me that I have a “radar” for finding the best, cheapest resto/cafe in the area. Must be the (Jewish) shnoz.

A transition…

Possibly the most challenging–but also the most rewarding–part of studying abroad is the people. You meet new folks every day. The first few days, it’s kids from your program. Then, once classes pick up, it’s people ranging from age 18 to 40, from countries all over the world. You meet the friends of friends in those classes. You start up conversations with Parisians/non Parisians in cafes, in the bars, in passing. Sometimes, you’ll strike up conversation with a guy and he’ll take it as a come-on and be extremely forward. Sometimes, you’ll meet another awesome companion to go with you to museums and cafes and parks and wineries.

There will be friends who want to go with you to all the art/history/culture museums, and those who won’t. There will be friends who want to go with you to bars and clubs, and those who won’t. There will be friends who walk you home, friends who you watch movies with, friends who you make dinner with, friends who you do the craziest, most random stuff with.

This is what I’ve discovered, what I’ve learned. Sometimes it gets lonely, but I’m honestly never alone. With so many good friends here, and so many friends/family at home and just a skype call away, it’s comforting.

Sometimes, however, the idea of temporary and the idea of permanence bog down on me. I am meeting and spending time with wonderful people every day; different friend groups, different backgrounds. But after these four months, how many of them will I see again? It’s difficult and also exhilarating to invest into relationships that may have an expiration date: June 1. At the same time, they may never expire; having friends all over the world gives me a reason to journey out to them. I can stay with them and see a new place from an inhabitant’s eyes.

This trip also has made me appreciate solitude. Though I naturally prefer to be around people, I’ve found a joy in heading to a boulangerie on my own and getting a croissant aux amandes avec chocolat (almond croissant with chocolate); going to museums and monuments and being able to walk through it all at my own pace; walking around the city in the afternoon; light window shopping and grocery shopping in the nights. There is a profound happiness that one can only discover by being on their own. When I have these experiences on my own, I feel like I feel them more, as I’m not concentrating my energy on spending time with someone else.

With this newfound appreciation, I will end on this note: I booked a weekend trip to Marseilles yesterday. I will be travelling alone (!) and meeting new friends, new faces at the hostel. I cannot be more excited.

Ciao, mes amis!

Dani Levsky